The craziest fashion show ever

Before I delve into the actual details of the story, I need to say a few things about the Karen people. They are among the most shy and modest I have ever met. They are very against PDA (public displays of affection). I think I have only seen one couple kiss in public, it was at a wedding and someone had to literally push their faces together for the most awkward wedding kiss humanity has ever witnessed. I have been to many other weddings. No kissing. I have been in their homes. No kissing. No holding hands. Husband and wife often don't even sit by each other.

Anyways, this made me very curious when I heard they were holding a fashion show at the nearby college. representatives from every college and high school (4 colleges, 3 high schools) were going and competing. Friday night the students from my school were practicing for their event. Next to the aforementioned kiss it was about the most awkward thing I have ever seen. All the students were trying to instruct the two who had been chosen on how to walk, and how to stand next to each other. They were supposed to embrace while they stood together and the guy looked like he had just been sent to a POW camp and had his life flash before him.

 The next day I went with many of the students to watch the event. There were probably 2000+ people gathered for the event. I was the only white guy. Actually I am the only white person in the 45,000 person camp. Kind of like being a black guy at Lavell Edwards Stadium.

The fashion show began with couples walking down the aisle each holding a different country's flag. I am guessing their dress was supposed to represent that country, but except for in a few cases, the dress had nothing to do with the country. Mexico, Spain, France, Germany, they were all represented with Karen people wearing Karen clothes.

Once the good looking bunch were all on the stage (probably about 25 couples), they all sang the Hallelujah chorus from Handel's Messiah, because its a fashion show and why not?

The couples singing the Hallelujah chorus. 

After that, they walked off the stage and there was a short performance by a guy singing a pop song. He had a good voice and performed well. After that the whole congregation sang a Karen song about the Karen people longing for their homeland, it was actually very beautiful.

Now for fashion! The first run was casual wear. The couple from my school probably overdid the make up. The guy looked like a singer from KISS. The other guys in the group didn't wear make up.

Anyways, remember what I said about the Karen being the most shy and modest people around? That kind of makes a fashion show just about the antithesis of what they are inclined to do. Most white people don't even feel comfortable walking the runway. Uncomfortable is exactly the word to describe every person in the fashion show. It was painfully obvious that none of them had volunteered. No one, particularly the boys seemed happy to be in the show. However, in a strange way, that made them look exactly like most fashion models I have seen walking the runway. Coincidence? Hmm, who knows.

The couples. Notice most don't touch each other. Almost all the guy's hands are at their sides.

There ended up being a series of three fashion walks, casual clothes, Karen clothes, and formal wear. In between these were sets of people singing and dancing. I have never seen the Karen do much dancing besides traditional dancing, but a group did some some incredible hip-hop dancing. The song had a very strong beat, but was up so loud it was difficult to make out the words. When I finally did, I realized it was in English. It was Amazing Grace in hip hop. The dancers all had crosses on their t-shirts. I guess this is the modern christian movement or something. The later dance group all had white masks over their faces. It was a cool dance, but I don't really know what the whole white face business was about.

Dancing to Amazin' Grace yo! Not the best picture, but if you look closely their white shirts have crosses on them (at about a 45 degree slant). 

After the final "walk" or strut or whatever you call it, it was time for questions. In American beauty pageants they always have open-ended questions like "What will you do to promote education of women around the world?" These are nice because they allow for the banal and cliche answers like "world peace" and the far more interesting responses like this and this.

The questions were incredibly difficult history trivia questions. The first one asked how much land Saw Ba Oo Gyi (a Karen revolutionary) had to give to the Burmese government? I was like, who knows this stuff? I know Karen history pretty well, but I would never have remembered something as detailed as that.

After the questions the contestants left and the entertainment continued while the judges made their decision.

Through a translator I was told we were going to witness a performance of a bible story. It began and I was trying to discern what bible story it was. I soon realized it was one of those non-biblical bible stories.

It was actually a dramatization of people dying and meeting St. Peter at the pearly gates and see if they made it into heaven. On the stage a ton of angels stood waiting for those who made it; a bunch of guys dressed in all black came in from the back to take those who failed.

The first girl who I did not really get how she died made it into heaven. The family that died in the car crash also made it. The girl who committed suicide after her boyfriend broke up with her didn't make it. The "devils" took her away in pretty traumatic fashion. Kind of a dark play. The girls who only liked to party? One made it, the other two didn't. The two girls who were killed preaching the gospel? Yeah they were in, and yelled quite joyously when they found out they made it.

This maybe gives some idea of the size of the crowd. This is just inside the building, outside was packed with people trying to look in as well. 

After this, the top three couples came out for a final round. The couple from our school made it. Each contestant was asked two questions. They were hard questions and they were given in English. The questions covered everything from Newton's laws of physics to literature and English grammar. I don't think I could have got all the questions right. Our team went 50%. The girl was right on the "future perfect progressive tense" in English, but the boy answered Sao Paulo instead of Rio De Janeiro for the location of the famous Christ statue in Brazil.

Because of this small slip of a few hundred miles we finished in third place. Neither of our team got the "best style" award either (which I guess was a separate award?!?).

I am not sure what the take away from this story is, except maybe how to make your fashion show anything but a fashion show. Who wants to sing the Hallelujah chorus with me?